When I’m Weary

Lyrics
On the days where I can't feel your love, do you still love me?
On the days where I feel out of touch, I try but don't believe
Do you still love me?
Do you still love me?

When the pain that's in this world breaks down all my man-made hope
Will you give me reasons to go on, rest my weary soul
Rest my weary soul
Rest my weary soul

Meditation
One of the challenges for me with Christianity is that God loves me however that does not mean I won’t suffer in this world. Out of all the worldviews, I think Christian has the most sophisticated answer to this question. The answer seems to be a story about humanity turning away and the Bible, for me, seems to be partly an explanation of the plan to save the world from its sad state. This maintains a picture of an all loving God and still explains the suffering in the world.

It’s not always a satisfying answer but it seems to at least be a cohesive one. It also seems to me to be one that has to be experienced not just known intellectually. The answer to that question seems to be living life itself. But how do I separate God’s love from what happens to me? How do I still know or feel God’s love when hard things happen? This is how When I’m Weary came to be. It’s a prayer for God to meet me in the pain and show me. It’s sort of a challenge. As I’ve grown I’ve stopped trying to pretend in front of the Creator. He already knows everything I think anyways so why pretend. Some days I bitterly ask Him, “Where are you in all this?” or “How can You love me and allow this?”

But in more sober moments I reframe those two questions; “Show me where you are in all this” and “How will you use even this tragedy and pull good out of it?”
- kid in flight